


Can’t fight this feeling any more...

by zazajb



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 12:59:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1186500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zazajb/pseuds/zazajb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Ianto reflect on how they feel about their relationship...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can’t fight this feeling any more...

  


Title: Can’t fight this feeling any more...  
Author: zazajb  
Rating: PG-13, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M  
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, mentions of team  
Spoilers : Set in Something Borrowed, minor mentions of previous episodes  
Summary: Jack and Ianto reflect on how they feel about their relationship... 

Fic masterlist:  <http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html>

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time  
A/N Inspired by the gorgeous song of the same name, sung here by REO Speedwagon  <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h87uRvRbgU8>

X-posted Jantolution , jackxianto & TW_classic , tw_proper, jantosparkle, theijs [apologies to those getting this multiple times]

A/N 1 For [](http://iantosdreamer46.livejournal.com/profile)[ **iantosdreamer46**](http://iantosdreamer46.livejournal.com/)   hold on to those dreams... *hugs close*  and [](http://debmommy22.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://debmommy22.livejournal.com/)**debmommy22**  welcome :D  
 

** I can’t fight this feeling any more... **

Ianto stood at the edge of the dance floor, his eyes fixed on the gently swaying couple. They fitted together perfectly as they gazed at each other...he bent his head forward towards her, she spoke, softly no doubt, as he moved closer to hear her and the grip on her hand tightened as he smiled tenderly at her...

Ianto fought back the wave of jealousy that threatened to overwhelm him, biting down so hard on his bottom lip that he tasted the coppery tang of blood. _Admit it, he told himself...you love him_... That bit was easy – of course he loved Jack...had loved him for a very long time...it was actually saying those three little words and letting the rest of the world see it that scared the shit out of him...

His mind drifted back to the previous evening...after a quiet drink with Rhys he’d returned to the hub...to Jack and Jack’s bed where they’d kissed and writhed their way into the early hours, finally falling asleep sated and wrapped in each other’s arms. A tiny smile curved the corners of his mouth at the memory, fading as he cursed himself for not being able to show how he felt... _I can’t fight this feeling any longer, and yet I’m still afraid to let it flow..._

He couldn’t imagine a life without Jack...Jack had saved him – saved him from himself after Lisa...he’d believed in him, been there...a gentle touch when the demons of the night had left him screaming, a friendly face around the hub when the team had regarded him as a leper for his betrayal and gradually he’d lost himself to everything that was _Jack_... _what started out as friendship has grown stronger..._

He’d had a chance earlier to show Owen what he and Jack were to each other...he grimaced at the recollection of how quickly he’d changed the subject as the medic had interrupted their slightly off topic conversation over his excellent choice of Gwen’s replacement wedding dress... _I only wish I had the strength to let it show..._

In the quiet of the night, when he was wrapped in Jack’s arms he could admit that he wanted more – he wanted to scream it from the rooftops...stroll through the city centre his hand firmly clasped in his dashing Captain’s for all the world to see...so many times he’d almost blurted it out to Rhi when she’d badgered him for the name of the girl who’d put the sparkle back into his eyes... _I tell myself that I can’t hold out forever..._

What was it that kept him from publicly claiming his man? Honestly? It wasn’t confusion – not any more, he’d long since accepted that it wasn’t _men_ , it was _Jack_...only Jack... _I say there is no reason for my fear, ‘cause I feel so secure when we’re together..._

He knew he’d follow Jack to the end of the universe if he could...Jack had given his life purpose again...a reason for living like he’d never known before... _you give my life direction, you make everything so clear..._ Visions of chasing weevils across the Wetlands Reserve, cornering a Hoix in the bus station and shivering knee-deep in a slime filled pool at midnight as they attempted to capture a basilisk-type creature from the Caelum system... _and even as I wander, I’m keeping you in sight..._

In their world of madness, of aliens, the rift and everything they saw, Jack was his anchor- the one he came home to... _you’re a candle in the window on a cold dark winter’s night..._ He pondered briefly on when he’d actually fallen for his Captain, mentally shrugging when he realised that it was an impossible question...the attraction had been evident from the very beginning - even when it had all been for Lisa - when they’d rolled around on the floor of that grubby warehouse as an unconscious Myfanwy crashed beside them...and then there was the coat...he loved that coat... _and I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might..._

He came back to his immediate surroundings as he realised his feet had moved and he was heading towards the two dancers... _and I can’t fight this feeling any more – I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for..._ He stopped beside them and coughed deliberately, a newfound confidence bubbling up from the soles of his highly polished shoes, sweeping through him as he turned towards the man he loved with every fibre of his being... _it’s time to bring this ship into the shore and throw away the oars forever..._

The look on Gwen’s face was priceless as he slipped into Jack’s arms in her place... _’cause I can’t fight this feeling any more – I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for..._ It was time he showed the world what the team knew already – that he’d die for his Captain and nothing would keep him from his side... _and if I have to crawl upon the floor..._ the memory of dragging himself across the damp earth after a bloody battle with two weevils which he’d had to shoot after they’d knocked him down and killed Jack, so he could be there when his Captain revived, cradling his lifeless body in his arms until that moment when he was thrown brutally away from the blackness... _come crashing through your door..._

His eyes met Jack’s, surprise registering in the blue grey depths and he tried to convey the tumultuous thought processes that had finally pushed him to risk his all... _baby, I can’t fight this feeling any more..._ He’d felt a momentary flicker of fear as Gwen moved away to rejoin her husband and he was left...exposed... _what if..?_ Then Jack had tugged him closer and he’d breathed in that intoxicating aroma that was just Jack and everyone else had faded away...it was just him...and Jack and those impossible daydreams that this could ever possibly work...

But he was dancing with him now...and that’s all that mattered...

*x *x *x *x *x *x *x *x *x *x *x *

He was dancing with Gwen, gazing at her fondly, his lovely Gwen happily married after a complete nightmare day – a typical Torchwood-does-weddings kind of day with razor-toothed aliens, terror and big guns...but that was the beauty of these people...they didn’t give up...and Gwen had shone like a radiant star as she’d battled through adversity, refusing to let anything stop her from marrying the man she loved...and he adored her for that...

“Will you miss me while I’m gone?”

“...always...” _I need you Gwen Williams, you keep me grounded, in this time, in this place_

“What will you do?”

“The usual: pizza, Ianto, save the world a couple of times...” His mind filled with images... _Ianto laughing as I feed him pizza, Ianto wrapped in my arms as I kiss him hard, Ianto beside me anywhere I go..._ and a warmth spread through him at the thoughts of his gorgeous Welshman, his heart missing a beat as he looked up to see the young man stood in front of him, waiting to cut in...to dance with the bride...

Delighted surprise rippled through him as Ianto moved into the space vacated when Gwen had turned towards her new dance partner, only to find herself reaching towards empty air... Glancing at them with a broad grin she glided across the floor to rejoin her husband, the assembled group smiling fondly at the two men...

Jack’s eyes met Ianto’s clear blue depths, seeing the hidden insecurities lurking beneath the bold determination to show the love he felt for his Captain...Jack’s stomach flipped several times as he realised with a start that it _was_ love _...he loved this man..._ His mind ran at nine hundred miles an hour as he tugged the young man closer, feeling him melt into the embrace, and they swayed softly in time with the music. The room and everyone else faded into the distance – it was just him and his gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful Welshman...

_My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you..._ he hitched his breath as he recalled meeting Ianto in the woods – his bravery as he helped him fight off a blood-crazed weevil in those figure-hugging jeans...followed by their meeting outside the Tourist Information – that coffee had blown his mind, but he’d resisted...for now... After their encounter in that grubby warehouse as they’d rolled around the floor with an unconscious pteranodon crashed beside them, he’d known there was something special about this young man – besides the undoubted sex appeal and the way he looked in a suit... _I’ve been running around in circles in my mind..._

Even after Lisa, when the depth of his betrayal had been evident, there was still something about him... _something_ that he couldn’t explain to himself, let alone to the others, that kept him from administering a stiff dose of retcon and dumping him miles from Cardiff...this one was worth a second chance... _and it always seems that I’m following you..._ Ianto had proceeded to show him unwavering loyalty and hidden depths as they’d tentatively explored the beginnings of their relationship, quietly dismantling all of Jack’s barriers that had kept his heart firmly locked away... _’cause you take me to the places that alone I’d never find..._

Ianto became his anchor...no matter where the storm threw him, no matter how fierce the battles, Ianto protected him with his unwavering love and support...with Ianto he could be himself...just _Jack_...and in his arms he found complete acceptance and a peace he hadn’t known existed... _and even as I wander, I’m keeping you in sight - you’re a candle in the window on a cold dark winter’s night..._ Little by little he fell in love... _and I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might..._

How come he never realised before this moment? Looking back it all seemed so obvious... He tightened his hold on the warm body in his arms and inhaled the unique scent that was just Ianto... _and I can’t fight this feeling any more..._ all of his fears seemed to melt away when he had Ianto in his arms... _I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for..._

He knew one day he’d have to let him go, knew his heart would break into a million pieces...too soon...he wanted to keep him by his side forever...but he needed to make the most of every second until then... _it’s time to bring this ship into the shore and throw away the oars forever..._

His lips brushed the side of Ianto’s neck as he lost himself in the warmth of their embrace, fingers curling around the younger man’s... _’cause I can’t fight this feeling any more – I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for..._ Another wave of memories crashed through his brain...realising how close he’d come to losing him... _and if I have to crawl upon the floor..._ scrabbling over to Ianto’s crumpled body where he’d landed after Lisa had flung him across the hub, kissing him back to life – the relief when those soft and sensual lips had begun to kiss him back... Then there was that time during his suspension when Ianto had refused to answer his phone...he’d been so fragile, so emotionally vulnerable and Jack had feared the worst, jumping into the SUV to check... _come crashing through your door..._ to find a bemused, very wet - very naked - Welshman in the shower wondering why his front door was hanging off its hinges...

Jack smiled into Ianto’s hair, _baby I can’t fight this feeling any more..._ He pulled back just enough to gaze into his eyes, whispering those words he’d put off saying for so long before capturing his lips in a searing kiss... Resisting for a split second, the Welshman melted into Jack’s embrace, relishing the warmth of his lips against his own, his soft moan lost as their tongues danced sensuously and he wrapped his arms tighter around the man he adored, pulling him closer...

Breaking apart, long, sweet minutes later, Ianto smiled tenderly as he threaded his hand gently through Jack’s hair, “...love you too...” before surrendering once more to the pleasures of Jack’s mouth as he was kissed into oblivion... _’cause I can’t fight this feeling any more..._

End

 

  


**Author's Note:**

> Reposted from my LJ


End file.
